I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
