return my video game
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
