She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
