I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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