i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
