Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
