Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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