i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
