I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
