i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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