So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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