you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
