No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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