Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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