Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
