More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
