Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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