Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
