oh god the rape fog is back!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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