I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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