Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich

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(773): Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich http://tfl.nu/iski

Replies (32) Good night (810) Bad night (2084)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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(919): I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes. http://tfl.nu/2m3g

Replies (4) Good night (4275) Bad night (839)
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(970): View more from Colorado

And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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(970): And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out http://tfl.nu/oush

Replies (12) Good night (6157) Bad night (1052)
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(443): View more from Maryland

the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20

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(443): the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20 http://tfl.nu/oq26

Replies (16) Good night (1905) Bad night (3221)
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(914): View more from New York

Drunk. I slept-stripped.

(914): View more from New York

By myself.

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(914): Drunk. I slept-stripped. (914): By myself. http://tfl.nu/r1zm

Replies (4) Good night (2328) Bad night (917)
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(443): View more from Maryland

He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.

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(443): He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits. http://tfl.nu/bqj0

Replies (12) Good night (3411) Bad night (1128)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(919): when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch http://tfl.nu/y99x

Replies (20) Good night (1239) Bad night (3228)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.

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(970): I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me. http://tfl.nu/ryot

Replies (7) Good night (2105) Bad night (780)
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(816): View more from Missouri

i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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(816): i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino http://tfl.nu/4r5s

Replies (9) Good night (1879) Bad night (861)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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(504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k

Replies (14) Good night (2129) Bad night (704)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....

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(708): Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts.... http://tfl.nu/shwj

Replies (11) Good night (768) Bad night (2458)
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(913): View more from Kansas

"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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(913): "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3cka

Replies (6) Good night (1209) Bad night (426)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.

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(573): I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room. http://tfl.nu/g1i7

Replies (5) Good night (873) Bad night (394)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs

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(919): to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs http://tfl.nu/1k80

Replies (7) Good night (461) Bad night (268)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game

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(203): You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game http://tfl.nu/wvii

Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (496)

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