I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer