Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

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  (630): I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward? http://tfl.nu/ncf8
  Replies (36) Good night (616) Bad night (2831)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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  (630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n
  Replies (51) Good night (10589) Bad night (1513)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.

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  (678): just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game. http://tfl.nu/2q8s
  Replies (12) Good night (2821) Bad night (1615)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila

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  (612): I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila http://tfl.nu/4u8b
  Replies (20) Good night (5920) Bad night (847)
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  (619): View more from California

  He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.

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  (619): He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated. http://tfl.nu/4d8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2460) Bad night (1076)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.

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  (313): We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn. http://tfl.nu/k4mq
  Replies (28) Good night (1455) Bad night (3356)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.

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  (+44): Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS. http://tfl.nu/15we
  Replies (16) Good night (1596) Bad night (3333)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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  (270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0
  Replies (10) Good night (1054) Bad night (2277)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...

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  (623): He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking... http://tfl.nu/bdfz
  Replies (5) Good night (2754) Bad night (760)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"

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  (847): I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies" http://tfl.nu/cpcz
  Replies (7) Good night (2997) Bad night (1011)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (2882) Bad night (603)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  ...the American dream.

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  (812): Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit. (1-812): ...the American dream. http://tfl.nu/qt7c
  Replies (15) Good night (3083) Bad night (664)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers

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  (250): Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers http://tfl.nu/71zx
  Replies (3) Good night (1064) Bad night (417)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.

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  (952): First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale. http://tfl.nu/145n
  Replies (1) Good night (944) Bad night (322)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."

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  (818): Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy." http://tfl.nu/kcv8
  Replies (2) Good night (999) Bad night (348)

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