Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!

  (916): View more from California

  Awkward!

  (562): View more from California

  No he was cute and I said yes!

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  (562): The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date! (916): Awkward! (562): No he was cute and I said yes! http://tfl.nu/pzog
  Replies (14) Good night (2739) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

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  (314): I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant. http://tfl.nu/hikv
  Replies (1) Good night (2111) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (631): im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/3y00
  Replies (65) Good night (8345) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.

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  (914): we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was. http://tfl.nu/57fr
  Replies (27) Good night (6191) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos

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  (512): watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos http://tfl.nu/z3bc
  Replies (17) Good night (8245) Bad night (1399)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy

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  (973): That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy http://tfl.nu/xazq
  Replies (18) Good night (8837) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?

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  (907): good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy? http://tfl.nu/iaof
  Replies (10) Good night (830) Bad night (2481)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity 

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  (225): And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity  http://tfl.nu/rf36
  Replies (1) Good night (1381) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?

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  (914): I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com? http://tfl.nu/sqoo
  Replies (4) Good night (1334) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  ...

  (281): View more from Texas

  Exactly.

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  (281): She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick... (832): ... (281): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/w9ox
  Replies (9) Good night (839) Bad night (1771)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."

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  (630): Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick." http://tfl.nu/sgnz
  Replies (13) Good night (934) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.

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  (859): You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep. http://tfl.nu/roy1
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went

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  (207): Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went http://tfl.nu/zl9j
  Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror

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  (281): You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror http://tfl.nu/4ds1
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic

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  (801): I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic http://tfl.nu/mfm8
  Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (203)

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