youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
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I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.