Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Happy Easter!!!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm an idiot

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  (517): Happy Easter!!! (248): I'm an idiot http://tfl.nu/fix2
  Replies (3) Good night (1078) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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  (305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever (615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister http://tfl.nu/5zux
  Replies (88) Good night (7967) Bad night (1577)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.

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  (517): Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%. http://tfl.nu/8x9e
  Replies (19) Good night (1004) Bad night (4235)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

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  (616): I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her. http://tfl.nu/z7hr
  Replies (9) Good night (6013) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You make your fellow Jews happy.

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  (412): I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more. (1-412): You make your fellow Jews happy. http://tfl.nu/gpio
  Replies (16) Good night (6507) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?

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  (740): So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot? http://tfl.nu/xzhr
  Replies (16) Good night (4572) Bad night (1016)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Joe or Chris?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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  (314): I hate the hobo that sits outside our building (1-314): Joe or Chris? (314): do i even wanna kno y u kno their names? (1-314): well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye. http://tfl.nu/9vla
  Replies (17) Good night (8423) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

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  (916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8
  Replies (12) Good night (4165) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."

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  (832): We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College." http://tfl.nu/3hlg
  Replies (11) Good night (8430) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now

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  (570): Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now http://tfl.nu/f08u
  Replies (20) Good night (3268) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me

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  (978): There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me http://tfl.nu/i0wj
  Replies (8) Good night (2902) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.

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  (972): I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left. http://tfl.nu/3wwg
  Replies (1) Good night (838) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, where are you?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  In back

  (928): View more from Arizona

  of car

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ... whose car?

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  (901): Dude, where are you? (928): In back (928): of car (901): ... whose car? http://tfl.nu/bog4
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.

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  (703): I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone. http://tfl.nu/d85b
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story

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  (815): not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story http://tfl.nu/tzip
  Replies (4) Good night (108) Bad night (165)

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