Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Responsible fail?

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  (907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx
  Replies (19) Good night (1507) Bad night (5472)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.

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  (203): he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/tskr
  Replies (44) Good night (8370) Bad night (1234)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

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  (616): I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her. http://tfl.nu/z7hr
  Replies (9) Good night (5945) Bad night (860)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...

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  (631): I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever... http://tfl.nu/ojc2
  Replies (25) Good night (1369) Bad night (4469)
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  (530): View more from California

  Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts

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  (530): Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts http://tfl.nu/nvqd
  Replies (7) Good night (2981) Bad night (902)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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  (757): just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life http://tfl.nu/it50
  Replies (5) Good night (1122) Bad night (2532)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar

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  (803): the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar http://tfl.nu/ly2i
  Replies (12) Good night (8095) Bad night (1130)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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  (508): I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals. http://tfl.nu/elpv
  Replies (3) Good night (2821) Bad night (777)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.

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  (917): That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies. http://tfl.nu/z8d5
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (375)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis

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  (306): I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis http://tfl.nu/jni6
  Replies (5) Good night (1190) Bad night (385)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.

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  (651): Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called. http://tfl.nu/hamr
  Replies (1) Good night (1043) Bad night (338)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.

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  (512): Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed. http://tfl.nu/bj7a
  Replies (12) Good night (415) Bad night (961)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.

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  (989): You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face. http://tfl.nu/p4hv
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war

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  (315): she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war http://tfl.nu/uvwx
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

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  (919): You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs" http://tfl.nu/7e2r
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (289)

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