It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.