he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My dick has a subreddit