did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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