Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
