He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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