Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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