Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
