Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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