my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
