Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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