i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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