I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
