why didn't you poke me back
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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