Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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