then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
