doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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