I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
