Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't turn off my feet"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
