I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
