Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Pappa wants mamma naked
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
