he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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