Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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