i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
