What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
