Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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