the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize