oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
