we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
