So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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