i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
