i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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