I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
