Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Someone signed my nipple.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
