Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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