Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Fuck appropriateness.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
