Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
