oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
