Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My new storm is the chrons

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one

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  (248): My new storm is the chrons (248): The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one<div>(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one</div> http://tfl.nu/7nnd
  Replies (5) Good night (1895) Bad night (661)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

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  (219): she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade. http://tfl.nu/8ipj
  Replies (11) Good night (3325) Bad night (1387)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe

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  (203): so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe http://tfl.nu/fk19
  Replies (10) Good night (937) Bad night (4117)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.

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  (303): stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole. http://tfl.nu/0oq5
  Replies (13) Good night (4745) Bad night (957)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.

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  (613): at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner. http://tfl.nu/n8w7
  Replies (7) Good night (3394) Bad night (754)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.

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  (781): I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on. http://tfl.nu/begu
  Replies (6) Good night (3793) Bad night (941)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk

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  (781): just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/vmmw
  Replies (14) Good night (2897) Bad night (1975)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.

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  (785): for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless. http://tfl.nu/zt1g
  Replies (12) Good night (3206) Bad night (897)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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  (815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw
  Replies (5) Good night (2339) Bad night (1011)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on

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  (717): I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on http://tfl.nu/s4r4
  Replies (3) Good night (1710) Bad night (657)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.

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  (504): I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex. http://tfl.nu/xk62
  Replies (7) Good night (1639) Bad night (490)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka

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  (281): you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka http://tfl.nu/l68b
  Replies (4) Good night (1449) Bad night (1034)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.

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  (425): Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible. http://tfl.nu/qw88
  Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (593)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

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  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (313)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back

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  (540): Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back http://tfl.nu/kuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (304)

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