Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

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(478): View more from Georgia

closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(308): View more from Nebraska

Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.

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