I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens