All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
